Sunday, July 6, 2008

why do you have a blackberry and not a real job?

Blackberries are like soooo the way of the future. How did we survive without them?
I know! right?

My high school aged brother just told me that people in his school have blackberries and iphones. What is this wackness? Here is what I imagine when I'm told nonsense like this:

(circle of girls aged 15-18 convenes)

'OMG, look at my blackberry pearl. Soooo cute! And even comes in pink!'

'No wait, look at my Curve. It's slightly bigger with a slightly bigger screen but still compact and convenient. AH! it's ringing! And it sounds like the metro "door opening" bell. SO annoying! BRB guys, gotta take this really important call from the lady I babysit for.'

'WAIT NO! OMG, look at my World Edition BB (blackberry abbrev).. it's like the same exact thing but costs more and has an unnecessary amount of business-oriented features for a person my age!'

'O. M. G. look at that girl's blackberry, she must have the latest model! Look how big the screen is! And that easy-to-use keypad? AND IT'S A FLIP OPEN??? ...Oh wait, that's a laptop.'

Above convo might be slightly exaggerated, but let's all be honest with ourselves: Blackberries were invented for, like, serious investment bankers and CEO's of companies whose lives revolve around business emails and/or essential money laundering information that needs to be passed on in a nanosecond to an investor or client or the mob. My bad, I meant, "the family."

So, wtf are you doing with one of these time consuming gadgets if you do not have aforementioned career? Or at least a high school diploma? I mean, I love Facebook as much as the next person, but Jesus Christ.

As far as 'important emails that must be checked instantly' go at age 17...

"Jessica Jones wrote on your Wall."

"Mike Mitchell has confirmed you as a friend on facebook."

"You have been invited to the event, 'Sarah's Sweet 16.'"

Bottom line: so unnecessary, and to all you tweens/teens who own PDAs: you are annoying.

Plus, they awkwardly call people all the time from inside your purse. I hope someone hears you talking shit about them and then confronts you about it after geometry.

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