Sarah Palin is so Christian, she doesn't read the Bible... she wrote the Bible.
Sarah Palin is so diplomatic, she knows how to say "Heyo, I'm just yer average gun-slingin' hockey mom." in five different languages: English, Canadian French, Inuit, Caribou, and Arctic Fox.
Sarah Palin is so motherly, she once rescued a baby from a gay couple... and then murdered them with her crossbow so they wouldn't strike again.
Sarah Palin once rode a polar bear 3700 miles across the Alaskan wild, killed it with her bare hands, and set up an oil drill with her eyes closed. Then she had triplets on the spot to celebrate.