Monday, March 16, 2009

suspicious...

Many of you have probably started to realize that Web 2.0 is taking over the universe. Many of you may also be aware of the fact that Facebook tried to buy Twitter last year for 5 MILLION DOLLARS, and Twitter flat out dismissed the offer. Drama! 

Facebook is a sly fox, though. take a look at the "new" Facebook. Look familiar?

Disclaimer: I casually follow selective celebrity Twitter feeds. Judge me.




Wednesday, March 11, 2009

CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING?

Okay, someone needs to address this: the current season of MTV's 'The Real World... sucks.

Let me see if I can understand this. Back in the day, The Real World set the precedent for "exciting" reality TV, and used to have really naughty sex kittens and the occasional super-shady ex-junkie. The house members used to hook up with each other and get hammered at bars and fall off the tables they were dancing on. REMEMBER RUTHIE?!  Even one of the lamest seasons ever had that ridiculous anorexic girl who survived on nothing but diet soda and carrot sticks, and would collapse every few days for the hell of it.

Who are these losers we're presently watching?! All they ever seem to do is play "pranks." Like, wow... you guys sure are causing a ruckus by rearranging the furniture on the unsuspecting other housemates. But then... WHY are you getting mad about it, other people? JUST MOVE THE CHAIR BACK TO THE WALL! It is so transparent that MTV tried to put the most "outrageous", "controversial", and "opposite" people they could find into a house together... and failed miserably. The Mormon is just a retarded hipster, the post-traumatic stressed ex-Army dude lost his temper ONCE, and the post-op tranny is like the nicest most normal person ever, and absolutely no one has a problem with her. There are three other girls (who no one cares about), and a dumb blonde Boston bro who is unbelievably sweet and sensitive and his worst moment is when he almost cries because post-op doesn't go to his birthday party. Oh, and the deep convos that occur amongst the housemates are made up of the most brain-dead, cringe-inducing, self-seeking, dumbly-redundant teenage comments  I've ever heard. (Was that enough hyphens for you?)

Bottom line? Step it up, MTV... this is D+ work at best. It's almost like the whole staff who was supposed to plan this season passed out at the strategy meeting and the janitor came in and planned it instead. But I mean... who could blame those guys? It was Margarita Monday in the MTV lounge!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

characteristic

I work with the most annoying kid ever. He laughs like the way you would imitate an evil, cliche nerd laughing, and has the dorkiest mannerisms I've ever seen portrayed by a real person. He also does that thing where he adds unnecessary "jokes" on to everyones comments or conversations, but they are seriously so bad! We all cringe internally and then someone usually changes the subject-- it's such a conversation killer.

We work in the admissions office, sorting mail, so obviously we come in contact with a lot of envelopes. Sometimes, overly careful high school guidance counselors like to double (or sometimes triple) up on envelopes, putting a standard letter envelope inside a manila envelope, secure it in bubble wrap, and place it gently in a cardboard priority mail sleeve with 19 stamps. You know, just in case that by the wrath of God, something happen to their valuable second letter of recommendation. 

Anyway, it's kind of annoying, but seemed to me that the rest of us mail-sorters had gotten over it. Not this guy! Literally EVERY piece of mail that required any kind of extra opening effort receives some really lame comment on his personal behalf, followed by that laugh that makes my fingers tingle with the desire to strangle it away.

Also, not to sound like an age-ist, but he's like 18 years old, and I'm going to be 22 in two days, and he won't cut me a fucking break! Sometimes those really young dorks are so nice and will do kind of slave-ish things for your approval. Not this guy! The other day I wanted to go have lunch with my friend and leave work a couple minutes early-- plus I had taken care of probably TWICE the mail he had in his frail, incapable, nerdy state of being-- and I asked him if he could finish opening the maybe FIVE envelopes that were left, and he was all, "UHH... UHH.... No I actually don't think I can-- I have class-- I mean, I have-- No, I can't." And I had no choice but to blow my friend off and help the delicate boy finish his daunting task of letter-opening. 

AND THEN he made another comment about "Soooo many envelopes." Man, I hate that kid! I hope he gets a really deep paper cut.