Wednesday, March 4, 2009


I work with the most annoying kid ever. He laughs like the way you would imitate an evil, cliche nerd laughing, and has the dorkiest mannerisms I've ever seen portrayed by a real person. He also does that thing where he adds unnecessary "jokes" on to everyones comments or conversations, but they are seriously so bad! We all cringe internally and then someone usually changes the subject-- it's such a conversation killer.

We work in the admissions office, sorting mail, so obviously we come in contact with a lot of envelopes. Sometimes, overly careful high school guidance counselors like to double (or sometimes triple) up on envelopes, putting a standard letter envelope inside a manila envelope, secure it in bubble wrap, and place it gently in a cardboard priority mail sleeve with 19 stamps. You know, just in case that by the wrath of God, something happen to their valuable second letter of recommendation. 

Anyway, it's kind of annoying, but seemed to me that the rest of us mail-sorters had gotten over it. Not this guy! Literally EVERY piece of mail that required any kind of extra opening effort receives some really lame comment on his personal behalf, followed by that laugh that makes my fingers tingle with the desire to strangle it away.

Also, not to sound like an age-ist, but he's like 18 years old, and I'm going to be 22 in two days, and he won't cut me a fucking break! Sometimes those really young dorks are so nice and will do kind of slave-ish things for your approval. Not this guy! The other day I wanted to go have lunch with my friend and leave work a couple minutes early-- plus I had taken care of probably TWICE the mail he had in his frail, incapable, nerdy state of being-- and I asked him if he could finish opening the maybe FIVE envelopes that were left, and he was all, "UHH... UHH.... No I actually don't think I can-- I have class-- I mean, I have-- No, I can't." And I had no choice but to blow my friend off and help the delicate boy finish his daunting task of letter-opening. 

AND THEN he made another comment about "Soooo many envelopes." Man, I hate that kid! I hope he gets a really deep paper cut.

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