Wednesday, January 18, 2012

what january is.

january sucks. it's freezing cold, everything is gray and shitty, and there are no holidays. AND the next holiday upcoming is Valentine's day, which also sucks and I hate the color pink. I'm moving to North Carolina in a couple weeks (thank Krishna) but my leave date keeps getting pushed back so I'm trying to fill my time with something other than drinking and smoking, now that I'm on the wagon(s?). Apparently I need to re-learn how to be a regular human being, because it seems like those were the only two things I did for fun. I'm sure everyone is doing something way more fulfilling, like going to the gym every day until last Thursday, but this is what January is like for me:

  • I have watched 3 seasons of 'Law and Order: Special Victims Unit' in the past week. I feel like I know Detectives Benson and Stabler intimately, and I am compassionate to their personal issues. I've had to stop myself from thinking I'd like to visit them at the precinct. I'm starting to get lower back pain from time spent on the couch, observing them in their natural habitat.

  • I am obsessed with LMFAO. I have a huge 12-year-old-girl crush on the older member, RedFoo, and have started watching behind the scenes YouTube videos of their musical performances. He has a giant afro and a fu manchu, wears shiny animal print pants and joke glasses with the lenses popped out. He dances like a sexy noodle.This is one of the weirder habits I've adapted, and I will not apologize.
     
  • I got really excited when I got a phone call today from a number I didn't recognize. As soon as I answered, I realized it was a mistake: I haven't gone out in 2 weeks, so it couldn't be a cute boy calling to rescue me from my miserable self-assigned house arrest with a romantic date. Plus, his thick Indian accent told me instantly he'd be asking me to do something I didn't want to. Assumptions correct: from a collections agency, took the remaining money from my bank account.
     
  • I have no money in my bank account. I should be getting some soon, but it's hard to pin down an exact moment. This is called being a freelancer.
     
  • I have a Tumblr. omfffffg.

  • I've been eating trail mix for meals because it's easily transportable in plastic baggies... all the better for couch-lunch.

What the hell is wrong with me? Does anyone else not have a real job right now and/or do anything remotely like this? The only good thing that has come from this month is that I'm so bummed out all the time, I've written some really deep poetry. Maybe I'll submit it to a review! It's time to hit the road southbound and get a job STAT...

...I reallywantLMFAOtoreadmyblogandcallmetohangout (336-266-6611).....

BUT SERIOUSLY I'M OVER THIS MONTH

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