Tuesday, May 1, 2012

get me out of here

You know when you're in bed the night before something really crazy/exciting/fun/unknown is going to happen, and you're just WAITING for it, feeling super anxious and considering every single possibility to the Nth degree?

And your imagination is going wild and totally takes over to where your body is legitimately buzzing with anticipation and you may find yourself flailing your limbs around and karate kicking your blankets to physically express your feelings?

And it eventually gets to the point where you just feel nothing but frustrated because it occurs to you that you're LYING DOWN WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED and not even sleeping, and you don't want to be doing something that dull and trivial that you have no say in? And your face may start to get hot because you're so annoyed that mild tears are a possibility?

And you so desperately want it just be over with so you can finally get to experience that feeling of pure joy and attainment and the thought of your current situation is the total opposite of that and totally mind-numbing?

Right now, every day is like that.

Except, I have no idea if or when the good thing I'm clenching my eager little fists for is actually going to happen.

So I continue to pummel through mindless paperwork and office tasks at my temp job. Continue to eat lunch alone in my car every day just to escape the crippling office setting, staring at the parking lot of a post office and day-dreaming about being somewhere else. Continue to be shot down again and again by creative agencies and media companies who keep perpetuating the Catch-22 of "experience": they won't hire me without industry experience, but I can't get the industry experience without them hiring me. And I know how good I am, and how great I could be. But I still feel like a cliche twenty-something, bitching about my mediocre life... because I am.

My homeopathic remedy? I absorb all the media I can. Analyze the ads. Eat grammar. Drink spelling.  Have a love affair with type. Shoot up style.

Lather, rinse, repeat.*

Every.

Single.

Day.



*Results may take extensive period of time to yield noticeable results, if any at all. Repeat cycle diligently until lucky break occurs, or futility inevitably sets in.

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